Relief
by swirlpop
Summary: Goku really doesn't have a grasp on etiquette at times -- and nothing grates on Vegeta's nerves more. After all, what can you expect from a grown man who says the word "pee-pee"? Oneshot with a smidgen of Goku/Vegeta if you look hard enough.


**A/N:  
**Oh, nothing but a silly, tiny one-shot. Plus, if you squint really hard and jump up and down 5 times (DO IT), you'll see a hint of Goku/Vegeta!  
**  
**Timeline-wise, this takes place in the 10 years of peace after Buu's defeat. Therefore, Vegeta is only a _tiny_ bit nicer than usual. What can I say? I like my Vegeta mean -- it makes the cute moments have more impact! :3

* * *

**Relief.**  
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Fists were fantastic, but the nature of Saiyajin aggression was still prone to the nature of… well, biology.

Son Goku clamped his legs together and twisted his head from side to side, looking for the perfect spot amongst the rocky terrain. He jumped up and down and waved his arms frantically in hopes of getting the attention of his fellow Saiyajin. "Stop, Vegeta!" he whined through impatient breaths, "Let's take a break! I have to pee!"

Sure enough, Vegeta halted in midair with his left fist still raised in preparation for an attack. He glowered at Goku in annoyance and dropped his fist. "Tch!" In a huff, he crossed his strong, stocky arms against his chest. "How come you never have to do that when you're in an actual battle? Where's your discipline, fool? You're lucky we're only sparring right now."

Goku grinned sheepishly and gave the back of his head a quick scratch. "Sorry, sorry! I'll be quick! When I'm done, you can hit me from that position and everything!"

"I was going to do so regardless," Vegeta said through a sneer. He idly tapped his fingers against the thick, sinewy muscles of his bicep. "Well, I might as well use the bathroom too. What's the use in pointlessly waiting for you?" His eyes moved past Goku and darted all around their sparring ground, scanning the cliffs and boulders for the ideal locale. When he finally found one to fit his tastes, he took off before Goku could get a word in edgewise.

A puffy pout inflated Goku's mouth, almost comically so. "He's going to pee before I am?" he griped to himself. "And he says I'm the one with no discipline!"

A flash of white suddenly grazed across his vision; it was Vegeta's gloves, deliberately and carefully strewn on top of a rock in the near distance. However, Goku had no time to properly process this -- the urgent feeling pressing underneath his navel reminded him that he needed to relieve himself. Immediately. With a small squeak, he pressed his hands between his legs and hurriedly flew over to Vegeta's left.

_Toc._

A noise that suspiciously sounded like Goku's boots broke Vegeta's concentration on his aim.

_Rshhrshh._

Vegeta quirked his eyebrow when he heard the rustle of cloth being pushed out the way.

_Wssss._

He flashed his watch to the left; there was a peculiar stream hitting the rock in tandem with his own. Even though he knew what he would find, his horrified gaze involuntarily traveled up the stream. When his eyes finally hit the source....

"Damn it, Kakarotto!"

Vegeta halted his flow and leaped backwards in a desperate frenzy. He hastily stuffed himself back into his tight battlesuit and shrieked, "You bastard! What in the hell are you doing next me!?"

"Huh?" Completely unperturbed, Goku inclined his head back to look at the now red-faced man. "What do you mean?"

Hands that were usually wrapped in white gloves now wrapped into heatedly agitated fists. "What do you mean _'What do you mean'_?! You stood right next to me when you had a choice of a thousand damned rocks to urinate on!"

Not stopping his flow in the slightest, Goku merely looked up to the sky and pondered why Vegeta was so flabbergasted. It was just the two of them -- it wasn't as if they were strangers. "Is there something wrong with that?" he questioned, naive as ever.

"Of course there is!" Vegeta managed to bark out in a fluster. "Don't stand so close to me and... and... just don't stand next me when I do that!"

Goku simply chuckled as he finished up, tucking himself back into his pants. He then turned towards the man, cheerily smiling the whole of his nonchalance. "Don't worry so much!" With a loud clap, he put his hands on Vegeta's shoulders and broadened his smile. "It's not like you're a girl and I'd have to look away or anything. We have the same parts!"

Vegeta blanched at the touch of Goku's unwashed hands and knocked them away immediately. "Get your vulgar, filthy hands off me! And besides, that's not the point!"

Unfazed by the rejection, Goku put his hands on his hips and cocked his head to the side in curiosity. "What's the point, then?"

"The point is," Vegeta snarled, "you can't just walk up next to a person, especially your Prince of all people, and take a piss right next to them!"

"I know I can't do that kind of thing with strangers! Chichi told me so a while back. But look, I do it all the time with family and friends. I don't think there's anything wrong with-"

"-Family and friends don't count, Kakarotto."

Goku tilted his head so much that Vegeta thought it would fall off. "Wait, that makes no sense! You're my friend -- so why can't I do it next to you?"

"Me? Your friend?!" He threw back his head and let out a solitary, dry bark of laughter. "Keep dreaming, you fool. This is exactly why you shouldn't do it -- because I'm not your friend, and I never will be!"

Goku frowned and laced his fingers together behind his head. "But we fused before, and our families are really close. Oh, and you just saw what my wee-wee looks like! I saw you look at it! That's pretty friendly, if you ask me."

_'Did Kakarotto just call his penis a wee-wee? But more importantly... he saw me look?!' _It wasn't possible for any more heat to gather in Vegeta's cheeks. "It was an accident!" he blurted out. "I sure as hell didn't want to see it! Why would I want to see it in the first place?"

"Why are you being so defensive? It's just a wee-wee."

"Stop calling it a wee-wee!"

Vegeta pressed his palms against his forehead and grit his teeth. He couldn't believe he was having this conversation. "You sound like a toddler! And I'm not being defensive, idiot – I'm being honest!"

Goku let everything go in one ear and out the other. It was a technique he perfected with Chichi, and it seemed to work with Vegeta as well. "Oh well, it's ok. I saw your wee-wee too. It's no big deal amongst friends, yeah?" He picked up some pebbles off of a nearby rock and rubbed it between his hands as a makeshift cleanser. When he was satisfied, he dropped them to the ground and brushed his hands off against his dogi. "There's nothing wrong with seeing a friend's wee-wee. It just means you become closer!" He settled his hands onto Vegeta's shoulders once more and shot him a goofy, yet thoroughly assuring grin.

Vegeta huffed, scowled, and stomped his foot down with all the irritability in the world. "I hate you, Kakarotto!"

But this time, he didn't bother pushing Goku's hands away.


End file.
